and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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