Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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