You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
