I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
