I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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