one might say we're banned from that church
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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