I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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