Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
