Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
