one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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