Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
