so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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