I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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