"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
