i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
