you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
