Screwed.edu
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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