I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
