I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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