somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
