Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
