Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
