I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
