If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
