Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
