at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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