Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
