i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
