jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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