Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
