The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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