PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
