last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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