the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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