GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Drake has all the answers
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
