So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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