Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
