Old men and throwing up are my life now.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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