when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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