She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize