She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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