Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
