I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize