So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
