I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
