I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
