OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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