i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just invented taco cereal.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
