Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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