the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
