Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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