Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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