this beer tastes like vomit already
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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