batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
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From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am midnight drunk by noon
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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