My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
don't judge my taste in strippers
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
