I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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