are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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