the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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