My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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