i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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