I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't deserve a penis
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
