cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
