Kareoke will never be a sober sport
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
