I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
