she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
